How a Shumway Shops

written by Aunt Stacy
(an uninvited guest blogger)

NOTE:  All characters and events in this post are real although some names have been changed to protect the innocent. 

Last week I paid a visit to the Shumway home and when I arrived I found Wendy in a very excited state.  Now, if you know Wendy at all then it goes without saying that if she's excited about something...it's something weird.  And mostly likely something FREE.

Like free coupons for happy meals.  Or finding a fabulous piece of furniture in a dumpster.  Or getting a free haircut from her husband.  That kind of wierd.



So when I showed up, she was bursting to tell someone her exciting news.  And, unfortunately for her, not only was I the first person to walk through the door, I am also the one and only other person that just happens to have her blog password.  (Boy am I in trouble now.)

Her exciting news was that there was a local church in town that was doing some sort of exchange table.  But not just any exchange table, a big and elaborate "almost-like-shopping-at-a-real-store" kind of exchange table.  The mother of all clothing swaps.

So the deal was  [if I remember right]  that if you came the week before and dropped off 25 items of clothing then you were given VIP passes to come back on day of the exchange and could then take 25 new-to-you items absolutely FREE!  And even more exciting...grab anything over your 25 item limit and you pay just 10¢ a piece!!

So with that, she threw her religion out the window, crossed church boundaries, and dropped off her gently used clothes.  Then she made a plan.  The plan, for those of you like me who didn't even know strategics were involved in this sort of traders extravaganza, was a stealthy one that involved bringing suitcases with roller wheels and large easy-open tote bags--the kind of provisioning that looters fancy.

Upon hearing this I rushed to my car and got my camera. 

"Here," I said, "This sort of carnage needs to be documented.  I feel a bizarre blog post in the making."

And Wendy, being the good sport she is, she took my camera!

Here's the part where I now commence making reckless comments about the prized photos I found on my SD card when she returned my camera [evil laugh]:

and now, for your viewing pleasure...

I give you...

"How a Shumway Shops"

a pictorial
 

Here is Wendy excitedly waiting in a line with her two daughters "Gertrude" and "Beatrice" accompanied by an unnamed (but not completely innocent) accomplice.

Apparently they got in line very early, as if attending a sold out rock concert.  This gave them time to practice a few "get-outta-my-way-this-is-MINE" moves to protect their booty.

'

 [note the children's appearance.  "Gertrude" in cut-offs and "Beatrice" sporting a ripped knee.  This gives the appearance of needy-ness which signals to all other exchangers that they should get priority trading status.  Good move Wendy.]

Finally the bargain hunting ensues...

A classic scene where the mother cub teaches her young important life skills. "Beatrice" is a quick study.

My comment here is simply this:

PASS.

 ...but don't take my advice Wendy, perhaps we will see you in your lovely garden this summer whilst wearing these fabulous pants along with a delightful shade hat, enjoying a spot of tea.

And now on to the  circular hanging rounds!  It's like an exciting carousel ride without the kiddie music.

A good trader knows to try things on.

There are no receipts or return policies here.

This is the serious business of spotting an attractive item

and protecting it from other bargain hunters.  One

must be swift and tuck it away in your tote!

Wendy was excited to show me this particular photo of her new free shoes.  I was afraid to ask if it was the one on the left or the one on the right. 

Here are "Gertrude" and "Beatrice"

with their suitcases in tow.

They are savvy bargain hunters indeed.

"Gertrude" scores with a NAME BRAND shirt!

Which she skillfully stuffs into her roller suitcase!

Spring is here so Wendy checks out the latest in bathing suit trends.

The look on her face betrays her thoughts... ' Have I reached that stage in life where I should be shopping for a bathing suit that has an attached skirt?'

 The answer is clearly "NO".

Flaunt your fabulous figure sister!!

All in all, a successful day!  Everyone came home excited and bursting with new outfits.  But one last photo remained on my SD card and it begs me to offer a final comment:

I know it's free...but...

Do you really want to shop where the Amish go?

 (please don't answer this, it's rhetorical and quite frankly I'm afraid of the answer.)

 

With all that said and done, Wendy has scored pretty big over the years with her particular penchant for penny pinching.  She's firm in the belief that they ALL add up!

And it must be true...among her freebie finds:

• An entire wardrobe (shirts/blouses, coats, suits, shoes, and accessories) of gorgeous business clothes from a friend of a friend.
• An electronic piano
• Vacations for her kids: Hawaii, Mexico, San Deigo...
• A living room furniture set...actually, ALL of the furniture in her downstairs with the exception of 5 barstools
• Food Storage (you don't want to know how old some of that wheat is!)
• A gaming system, complete with dozens of video games
• A 4'tall above ground Swimming Pool to cool her kiddos in the summer

And so you see, her plan works, and sometimes makes her the envy of all of us!  But still, when she gets that excited countenance on her face...we all know there's something FREE and a little bit weird about to happen.

Post Script:
Dearest Wendy, I just couldn't help it.  Please freely forgive me.